Give LOTS of space when passing a bike in your car.
Give EVEN MORE when passing a horse.
Do NOT stop to talk in doorways.
Or at the bottom of escalators.
Elevator Etiquette: Let people exit before you enter. That way you have more room to enter. This applies to all things, not just elevators.
Trains, buses, gangbangs…
But how else are you going to turn a gang bang into a train?
HUMAN Centipede
When driving, you should engage your turn signal before you start applying the brakes in preparation for your turn.
The rearview mirror (the one that hangs off the windshield) is for seeing directly behind you. Your side mirrors are for seeing things to the right and left of you. If the driver directly behind you can see your face in your side mirrors, or you can see their front windshield, and your rearview mirror both exists and is unobstructed, then you are driving around unreasonably blind to vehicles overtaking you. This blind spot can be almost completely eliminated.
The side mirrors should be positioned thus that you have a clear view of the lanes next to you, with the door handle or body of the vehicle just slightly out of view. You can lean and tilt your head if for some reason you prefer a view of what’s going on behind you that is half obstructed by the vehicle you are currently driving.
The goal is to maximize the area covered by the mirrors so you can see more things, not to have redundant views of the same thing.
Also, related to proper use of turn signals, you should signal well in advance of your turn. The rule of thumb I learned was your signal should be on for three seconds of before you turn, assuming you’re currently in motion. Additionally, you should actually use your turn signal. Far too many people seem to be scared of the blinken lights. There is no reason not to use your turn signal.
- Changing lanes? Signal.
- Turning from a turn-only lane? Signal.
- Backing out of your drive-way? Signal.
- Pulling out of a parking spot? Signal.
- Moving the steering-wheel for any reason other than continuing to follow the curvature of your lane? Signal.
- Driving in a post-apocalyptic wasteland where you are confirmed to be the sole living thing left on the planet and doing any of the above? Signal.
If you’re turning and think you have a reason not to use your turn signal, you’re wrong. Fucking Signal.
I nearly died the first time I turned the blinker on in the new car. I was changing lanes and I put the blinker on to signal I was heading over their. I saw the car next to me and was signaling to let everyone else know I was going to go over when it was clear. Then the car started making all these noise and scared the crap out of me. Come to find out the car warns you with a loud audible alarm if their is a car near your blind spot.
Anyway just wanted to share
Cant you just fucking read the mind of the person in front? They are clearly thinking of turning way ahead. Sometimes before they enter the car.
When driving, if you plan on turning from the turn lane, switch lanes and THEN slow down to turn. Don’t slow to a crawl before leaving the driving lane.
This is my husband’s “pet peeve”, as he puts it. “Don’t just throw on your brake in the middle of the road! Why are you slowing down? Signal!”
I originally got this one from an Actual Advice Mallard meme.
So many of these are “Don’t create obstacles or bottlenecks”.
Return your cart, zipper merge, wait for people to get off before you get on, don’t block doorways.
Clearly, the truest unspoken rule is “Get out of the way!”
If you need to have a conversation with someone, don’t block the entire hallway to do it.
One day I’m going to get the cops called on me for screaming like a maniac at the people hosting an impromptu reunion in front of the item I’m trying to get at the store.
We all know that Suzanne doesn’t care how little Timmy is doing, and you’re really not going out for coffee sometime or getting all the kids together for a playdate.
You get a polite “excuse me”, a less polite one, a “I’m trying to get to the [whatever]”, a 3 second soul-piercing glare, then the hamster falls off the wheel and the demons get released.
I like to enthusiastically join the conversation. “Oh how IS little Timmy? I hear he shows a lot of promise on that baritone accordion of his! Were they able to reattach his foot after the incident?” Then everyone gets weirded out and confused enough that you can reach through and grab the grocery you want.
This gets so bad at groceries certain times of the day.
But I get really annoyed at them at places like Costco. The aisle is like 15’ wide: how are you even managing to get this much in the way
Zipper merge done properly is amazingly efficient.
Let the people out of the elevator that are trying to get out of the elevator before you attempt getting in.
Elevator, all public transport, buildings. There’s more space outside. Stop cramping.
Yes! And to those getting out: don’t stop or walk super slow the moment you are out, people are trying to get in, get out of the way!
And escalators. I forgot one of the reasons I hated shopping with my ex but this past weekend we had to get some stuff for our kid. Sure enough, STOPPED as she stepped off the escalator. Wtf
Ditto buses and subways
Don’t make phone calls on speaker when in public. Not even if you hold it up to your ear.
People that do this are inviting you to join the call. Announce yourself and ask what the caller is wearing.
Uh… Khakis.
“She sounds HIDEOUS!”
Keep your fetishes to yourself!
Similarly, watching videos/listening to music on full volume in public without headphones
The worst are people who do that in the bathroom. Like, hello, I’m trying to jerk off in peace here, stop polluting the air with your banal conversation.
If you need to stop while walking on a path, inside or outside, step to the side. I can’t believe how many people just abruptly stop to look at their phone, have a conversation, point out something they find interesting… like my guy, would you do that in a car? Fucking GOOOOOO!!
Other people exist???
Yes, those same people are likely to act the same way in a car
Since the majority of people in the world are idiots, and management tends to collect them at a higher rate than other roles, you will generally be rewarded more for how you make others feel than the amount or quality of your work. A person with a 10 in charisma and 4 int gets farther than the person with a 10 int and a 7 in charisma most of the time. Focus on learning better people skills. If you find a place where your work is recognized you should cherish it.
Also in the US the left lane is for passing the right lanes.
Here’s a weird one:
Don’t offer advice unless its something you have some experience with.
Googling someone’s issues and giving them a boilerplate answer from the first thing you find isn’t helpful and can actually be a hinderance more than anything.
I also hate when people get angry you didn’t follow their advice. Sometimes their advice was horse shit to begin with anyway. Just because someone seeks advice doesn’t mean they’re obligated to follow it. At least in my case, thank God I didn’t.
Or their advice might be fine in general, but doesn’t apply to your specific situation.
I had a friend who’s latest and greatest dating advice was to go back and hangout at the college I graduated from (at the time already) several years ago.
I thought it was an incredibly disingenuous and creepy suggestion.
Him and his partner were like “it’s totally fine…”
Not a single female friend disagreed with me that, that would be very creepy and I absolutely should not do that.
He got mad that I would never listen to his (terrible) dating advice.
I do remember from college there were women who were into this. It may be a successful strategy if you have no shame or morals
You’ve got my vote for president.
Something I’ve learned to practice with friends. When people call me I try to make sure I ask “do you want advice or do you just want someone to listen?”
I have to disagree honestly. So many times someone tells me about some question they’re pondering, and when I offer some suggestion about what may be going on or how to fix it, they’re like “Why are you talking about something you know nothing about? You don’t have to have an opinion.”
But am I allowed to? I’m a curious person. If something interesting or strange or problematic is happening in your life, the first thing my brain is going to do is start trying to explain it. So I could keep it to myself, but then since my mind is on something I’m not allowed to talk about, I’m going to sit there and be silent and then they’ll be like “What? Do you have any reaction at all or are you going to just sit there in silence?”
And then I pull out my beretta…
I think it’s fine to have an opinion, just qualify it with “I’ve not been in that situation before, but … I think bla … because bla.”
It’s just about being honest.
I had someone do the same but with fucking AI in my field of expertise
Absolutely. And be open that you don’t have experience with it!!
I feel like boomers are the worst about this (as a young business owner I get tons of random dumb business advice from that age group) but that could just be bias
That is partially what inspired me to post this. A lot of business advice I have gotten has been staggeringly bad.
I realize most people have worked at a business and should know a thing or two about how it works, but I don’t think many consider the huge differences between their workplace and how a small business operates.
Don’t stop in doorways when walking through public places.
Or at the top of the stairs/ escalator you just came up. There are people behind you with nowhere to go while you decide which way you want to go.
How grown adults can stand around, mouth agape, in apparent wonder that they’ve been transported to the next floor up just escapes me. It’s a conveyer belt behind you, Gladys, fucking MOVE!!! Just one or two steps to the side even if you still need to wrap your head around what just happened to you.
In general, stay out of the ducking way.
Confirmed; if I see a duck approaching, I will step aside.
Be aware of your surroundings. This is not just a safety thing for yourself, but a courtesy thing for other people.
When it’s close to closing time, get out of the store. If you have items you want to buy, leave yourself enough time to check out before the store closes. If you’re bringing a full cart to the register 30 seconds before closing time, you’re an asshole.
The employees have probably been there for 7+ hours, and still have to clean, restock, etc. They don’t want to be there for one second longer than necessary. Don’t be the reason they get home even later than usual.
Worked at a Starbucks in college that was open until midnight. One time there were a couple of girls hanging out and didn’t leave when 12 rolled around. We started doing our closing tasks, locked the doors, etc. and they still remained. Finally I was starting to mop the floor and one of them said to me, “Were you going to ask us to leave?” And I said, “We’re not allowed to.” They were so apologetic after that. Yeah whatever, just get the hell out.
You’re not allowed to ask people to leave after closing? That’s awful, what the hell!
Some companies, especially bigger ones, value customers far more than they do employees. Many of those have rules against doing anything that might be misconstrued as hostile, such as suggesting to a customer that their presence is no longer desirable (even if this is done completely justifiably and politely).
So if you’re not allowed to I assume you get paid overtime if you have to stay after hours because of this, not doing so would be illegal in most countries. Knowing that I would get some friends to come over, play some games chat and do whatever we would normally do until 3/4 AM every Friday, get to hang out with friends and get paid for it, win/win. If asked I would just say “well, my friends came over to see me, and I couldn’t ask them to leave”.
That’s such a crime that you can’t. There’s probably a lot of the time it’s just lack of awareness.
I’ll always remember this one store we were shopping in, literally killing time. The workers kept asking if we needed help but we were just looking. No big deal. It wasn’t until we left that we saw the sign and realized it was long past closing. We were the assholes out of obliviousness. I will always wish they were allowed to tell us about closing time
It’s especially egregious because most larger stores have announcements. If my grocery can announce “15 minutes ….”, why can’t that little shop?
To add to this, last call is last call. Get what you need and finish up. “Oh but you’re still open til…” yeah, that’s for the people who were here at last call to finish what they got by last call.
Totally this. I’ve never left a store after closing. It was close sometimes, like when I went in at 54‘ and grabbed the stuff and was out at 57‘ but still
The standard where I work is 9 hr shifts and we get these assholes pretty much every day.
Do not start or continue a phone conversation when going to the bathroom - public or private restroom but especially in public bathrooms.
I’ve seen people facetiming in the men’s room.
About ten years ago I was talking to one of my sisters on the phone. She was in NZ, I’m in the UK, so it wasn’t an everyday thing. Evening for me, morning for her. So we’re chatting away and suddenly there’s a weird noise, like interference on the line. I remarked on it - and it turned out it was her PEEING. She somehow thought I wouldn’t hear? Bloody hell.
Put your cart back when you’re done shopping.
I’ll leave this here: https://youtube.com/@cartnarcs
Looks like it’s time to test the waters of Lemmy. This one has generally gone over poorly on reddit every time it’s come up, so let’s find out how it does here:
What about people who have a high degree of difficulty getting around? A good friend of mine has a herniated disc and a bunch of neurological issues as a result of a car accident he was in, he walks with one of those rolling walkers at a very slow speed grunting and groaning the entire time, and that was at the best of times. He barely manages shopping by using those electric cart things, but with all the reaching and bending he has to do, by the time he got back out to the car he was sweating like crazy and in obvious pain, even with my help. The idea of expecting someone in that situation to endure another couple minutes of horrendous pain just to make someone else’s life very slightly more convenient by bringing his cart back up to the store even from the handicapped parking spaces strikes me as absurd, but he can’t always get help with his shopping so I know he has to sometimes.
I think rules, written or otherwise, should have exceptions to account for extreme circumstances like this, but a lot of online people just go ‘No, if you don’t bring your cart back you’re a BAD PERSON no matter what!’.
The major problem with this kind of pattern is you’re looking to establish edge-case boundaries, rather than the most broadly applicable standard. The attempt to document and "solve for every case just leads to overly complicated and disingenuous discussions. Our fascination and obsession with “accuracy and precision” as applied to human behavior is one that breaks down very quickly unless you’re attempting to be hyper-rational, at which point, any rules assigned to human behavior break down.
In short, “use your best judgement.”
Note: I think that we have passed the golden moment where “human judgement” had any kind of value. There was a long time where we (all humanity) were stumbling in the dark, and we have now stepped back into that cave. But for a brief, shining moment, the percentage of people who had critical reasoning skills was growing, and it was majestic.
What I’m looking to do is point out that the world isn’t ever black-and-white, that the broadly applicable standards - while I agree that they are in fact broadly applicable - are never universal, and that edge-cases exist everywhere and need to be accounted for or the world is just a worse place for everyone. I’m not saying ‘your solution must handle solve for every case’, I’m saying ‘be aware that your solution needs to be flexible enough to account the fact that the real world is messy and things are never as simple as you’d like to believe.’
I am specifically, as you say, advocating for the use of best judgement over moral absolutes (I have heard it said, in person and online, that anyone who doesn’t put a shopping cart back no matter the reason is a shit human being, f.ex, so there are definitely people out there slinging moral absolutes on the subject of shopping carts.)
I highly doubt you have heard a significant number of people who would genuinely say “disabled people who don’t put their carts back are shit people.”
The number of people who would unironically say that is such a small edge case that it’s not necessary to talk about them when you say things like “everyone knows that disabilities result in different needs and moral responsibilities,” just like it’s not necessary to mention disability when you generalize and say “people who don’t put their carts back are shit people.”
Edge cases don’t have to be accounted for in every conversation, not everything is a court of law.
This isn’t really any more deep than “only a sith deals in absolutes”
Not a significant number, no, but also not zero. No the common refrain is as I said it, with the implication that anyone who doesn’t for any reason is a shit human being, and Iono if you know this, but disabled people are part of ‘anyone’ too. My whole point is that they make blanket statements about a thing that annoys them without realizing that some of those carts are out there for some pretty good reasons actually.
Put your cart back when you’re done shopping
OP didn’t make a blanket statement that “anyone who does X is a piece of shit.”
He said an unwritten rule, like your own statement:
Don’t be stupid
Which is significantly closer to ableism than the shopping carts, with the implication that anyone who is stupid is a piece of shit.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying “don’t be stupid,” for the record, but in case you weren’t aware, people with brain damage are included under “anyone.”
You’ve picked a bizarrely specific hill to die on.
that is such a small edge case that it’s not necessary to talk about them
Did you manage to overlook this point?
Of course there are exceptions to every rule. Likewise, “don’t talk loudly on your phone in public” is a rule everyone should know, but no one’s going to judge you if you’re talking loudly on your phone to 911 because you just saw someone get hit by a car.
You can’t call the police or an ambulance if you’re at the movies!
Thats like saying ik murders bad but what if the guy you killled kidnapped your whole family and held them hostage, like nah shit well consider it being okay in that case, but that is a fringe case far from common
Equating not putting the shopping cart back with murder is a bit fucking hyperbolic. One of those ends the life of another person and the other very slightly inconveniences them at most. And I now I can’t even take you seriously enough to read the rest of your admittedly-short post after a statement like that.
Not every comparison is literal, and you focused on the wrong part.
Maybe tuck the godawful analogies away til the end next time then? shrug
I think rules, written or otherwise, should have exceptions to account for extreme circumstances like this, but a lot of online people just go ‘No, if you don’t bring your cart back you’re a BAD PERSON no matter what!’.
To treat any rule as immutable is an idealist junk perspective. Rules, like all ideas, need to be applied to a context, and I personally don’t see the point in codifying every possible exception. Law officials, programmers and others can tell you how Sisyphean that task would be.
So yes, there are exceptions (obviously!). If you’re putting your cart back and you injure your leg, you don’t have to crawl on your arms just to put it back. But we can still generally say “people should put their cart back after shopping” and it’s clear that we’re generalizing.
There are always outliers and exceptions to rules, they are usually not who/what is being discussed lol
You say usually, but I’ve seen quite a few people (on the internet and off) who like to make blanket statements like ‘Anyone who doesn’t put the shopping cart back is a shit human being’, so it frequently is what is being discussed, and those folks have to be reminded that the world is not as black and white as they’d like to imagine.
Nah man, language is messy and people are lazy. Language is messy meaning people generally don’t get so detail oriented and pedantic when someone says an absolute that clearly has some exceptions. People are lazy meaning most people aren’t going to care to hash out the specifics of the edge cases that don’t fit the generic statement.
Your test seems to be more about how pedantic everyone is, and god I hope Lemmy loses that to reddit…
Yeah that was definitely a thing I saw a lot more on reddit than here re:‘shit human being’, so fair point, I’m with you in hoping that kind of thing doesn’t come over here/goes away.
The carts go back in the corral so they don’t damage other people’s cars, not for convenience. I’m sorry your friend is hurt but my property shouldn’t be damaged because of that. And nobody’s going to judge him if he leaves it next the handicapped parking space he was in. Anyway, all the grocery stores by me will literally send someone to push the cart and put your groceries in the car for you if you’re unable. The cashiers will even straight up ask if they think you need help.
He always puts them in a place where they won’t be in the way of other cars, lifts a wheel up onto a curb or something so it won’t be blown around by the wind, etc. He is not damaging anyone’s property.
Also I’ve been with him to help him shop several times and never seen anyone offer (and he says he they never offer when he’s by himself), so maybe it’s different where you live? shrug That sounds pretty great for his situation tho.
If he’s putting it up on the curb he’s doing the best for his situation and to me that’s fine. The damage comes from people leaving them just laying around and then the wind picks up. I have been around the block a few times it’s true but in my life I’ve saved at least 3 people’s cars from getting dented by carts I saw flying through the parking lot because of wind.
Does he ask for help? Even if it’s not a normal thing at that store, a nice conversation with a store manager can go a long way in my experience. Maybe it’s because I live in a neighborhood with a significant amount of older folks (at least that’s what it looks like at the grocery store!) but I bet any grocery will do that if you ask.
Fair enough. Yeah fuck leaving it out in the middle of everything or where it can roll/be blown away. If my buddy who gets winded walking to the bathroom can manage it so can everyone else. Although I guess to be fair there are more likely to be curbs near the handicap parking than for most other people, though also they have working legs and cart corrals, so…
I think I understand what you are saying, able bodied people can easily forget there are others who have a hard time doing “basic” and “easy” tasks.
I agree with some of the replies you got about being unnecessary and time consuming to state every exception to something but I think that what you pointed out is still very valid. Depending on the culture people grow up in and their personal experiences, stating something like " disabled people sometimes are not able to put the shopping carts back" could be either extremely obvious for them or not at all. Some people will think it’s just about not bothering others with a task that they could easily take care of themselves, others will think about safety like one of the replies you got talking about the wind (I’ve never thought about that one tbh), some will think about damaging people’s property (cars) and others about not giving workers more problems. I think we can all agree that abandoning the cart is bad, even if we are thinking about different reasons, however a lot of people will just blame lazy people for leaving it anywhere and totally forget about disabled people not having other options because it isn’t something that is a part of their lifes.
I wouldn’t say that people not being constantly aware of disabled people having a harder time is inherently ableist, unless they do it on purpose of course, but bringing awareness to the existence of the many obstacles they face in different scenarios is important to make changes that make their life’s easier. Abandoning the cart can also make disabled people’s life harder, for example if it is blocking the safest route for mobility aid users or blind people, wich is something that able bodied people should also take into consideration (and most disabled people who need to leave it somewhere actually take into consideration).
Bringing awareness can make changes, maybe next time someone here sees someone with mobility issues they will ask them if they need help or if they need them to return the cart to its place, changing the place to leave the carts so it is next to disabled parking spots could be planned and requested to stores. Maybe some people will become more aware of the obstacles that others face in their daily lifes.
