Sheriff’s deputies in Washington’s Kitsap County frequently get calls about animals — loose livestock, problem dogs. But the 911 call they received recently from a woman being hounded by dozens of raccoons swarming her home near Poulsbo stood out.
The woman reported having had to flee her property after 50 to 100 raccoons descended upon it and were acting aggressively, said Kevin McCarty, a spokesperson for the sheriff’s office. She told deputies she started feeding a family of raccoons decades ago and it was fine until about six weeks earlier, when the number showing up went from a handful to around 100.
Don’t feed the raccoons! Yes, they are very intelligent and adorable. Just talk to them and befriend them, but never ever feed them. Watch the movie Gremlins for more info.
Feed the raccoons after midnight and water them regularly to cause a monster apocalypse. Got it.
I thought I recognized them.
She… she fed them.
facepalm
This is why you DONT DO THAT.
She deserves her fate, smh.
Or… if you do. feed them from the neighbor’s patio. specifically, the neighbor you don’t like.
Legit question for rural Americans - how do I kill the 50-100 feral raccoons that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play
Armed kids?
The only way to stop 50-100 raccoons that run into your yard is with a good guy with a gun.
The only way to stop 50-100 bad raccoons that run into your yard is 50-100 good raccoons with guns
😒✋
😏👉
This is why we need machine guns. Imagine trying to get all 100 with a semi auto rifle. I think you’d get maybe 10 before you get mobbed by raccoons.
Trenches and barbed wire.
Yeah. Go full Leiningen on them!
Edit: Wow, I never read that Wikipedia page before. That story has 100% more inspiration from Hitler than I was ever taught about in school. They didn’t even tell us the author was German.
A lawn chair, case of beer and a varmint rifle will make a good start.
Simple, poison the food.
wtf?! I would never poison a child!
Then how do you plan to have room for 100 raccoons?
Raccoons are smart and will learn from the mistakes of their brethren. Perhaps you could encase a neighbor child in Kevlar and have them run around a route of raccoon bait and, uh, humane land mines?
Edit shit I think you were referencing the feral hogs meme. I vaguely remember that from a Jamie Loftus joint
Raccoons: “We are no longer asking.”
That’s a lot of raccoon poop, and I don’t feel confident that the kind of person who thinks feeding raccoons for decades is a good idea would know that raccoon poop parasites are incurable and will likely kill you.
I had never heard of this before. I do generally avoid contact with wildlife, though.
https://news.uga.edu/deadly-raccoon-roundworm-can-infect-humans-without-symptoms/
Anybody think this idiot learned the lesson to not feed trash pandas? Anyone?
I dunno… It is Kitsap County.
Was a component of my job in counties neighboring Kitsap Co.
The answer is likely: Maybe. A lot of the times people do stuff like this without critical thinking and stop pretty much once notified or after some shit like this happens.
But a few certainly, explicitly, do not and will continue with a vengeance until effectively run out of the area. Like out of one county, like Kitsap, into another county so it became my jurisdiction to handle the belligerent wildlife feeder. shakes fist into the ether (no personal experience at all nosirsee)
Public Health and/or Water Quality programs usually wild up with the bag in those situations.
Now is that better or worse than being raccooned by up to 100 hounds?
I would be happy to be raccooned by up to 100 hounds if they are good boys and girls that want to give kisses and receive belly scratches.
Never, ever, EVER feed the Trash Pandas.
Don’t put out food for any wildlife.
Here is what happened when the police showed up
This is why you don’t feed the wildlife.
… what did I just watch…?
Pompoko, sometimes subtitled “The Raccoon War.”
That scene is among the least zany things that happen in it. You should check it out; it is absolutely worth a watch. Especially if you’re into Japanese mythology and yōkai. So in that vein, I’m going to throw down some nerd trivia, now.
Yes, those raccoons (tanuki, actually) were attacking people with their balls. This is consistent with Japanese folklore.
The tanuki are Japanese racoon dogs, are traditionally tricksters, and are said to have shapeshifting powers. Mario’s raccoon and “tanooki” suit (arguably misspelled in the English translation) is based on this:
This includes the ability to turn into a statue…
…which is something that the tanuki also do in the movie, or attempt to do, with varying success:
Note also how they use their, er, sacks to glide. Does that remind you of anything?
You’ll never look at him the same way ever again.
Amazing stuff!
Pompoko. A Studio Ghibli movie.
Her husband:
She missed a grand opportunity to fence off the area, create a raccoon preserve, and charge people to feed them pellets of food she’ll also sell them. Raccoons are adorable, she probably could have gotten enough money to fight the eventual lawsuit after one of’em bites a kid
Some people just don’t know what to do with swarms of loyal animals…
And I thought the one raccoon we had to get removed from our attic was a problem…
I got jumped by 3 raccoons last year. Got scratched and had to get rabies shots. I leave a fresh duck egg out every night and the raccoons leave me and my trash alone now. I can’t imagine trying to strike a deal with 100 of the fuckers.
