• flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    10 hours ago

    It is not an “excuse.” If I’m attacked by a man at night, I will have a more difficult time protecting myself than if a man was attacked at night, on average. Not to mention that you have to ask yourself, what is the attacker after? Because being sexually assaulted or raped is so personal and awful that it’s natural to have a higher amount of fear of that outcome.

    Like how if you were equally likely of being jumped at night by a stranger as you were of being abducted and having spiky metal spears shoved in your urethra… you might recognize that’s it’s not super likely you’ll get jumped, but you would be way less likely to risk it since the fact that sounding is just too awful to chance (for the vast majority of the population).

    Also… my sample size is too small to be statistically relevant, but 100% of the men I know are sure they could “take” a random female attacker.

    Unrelated; asking that question was difficult but not for the reason I expected. It was like a game! “Do I have super powers in this scenario?” “Is she armed? Am I armed?” “How much time do I have to prepare?” And my personal favorite, from a particularly well-traveled friend- “Is she like a random person, or one of my exes?”

    Edit: The last guy has crunched the numbers and decided he could take all of his exes, unless they team up, which he thinks is unlikely, so I’m continuing to count that toward the 100%.

    • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 hours ago

      100% of the men I know are sure they could “take” a random female attacker.

      Until she’s your roommate’s girlfriend, he’s out of town, she comes into your room when you get home at 4am off a 12hr shift dishwashing when all you want in the world is food, to pet your cats, and to sleep until 2057, and forces herself on you complete with grabbing your wrists and the phrase “no you don’t understand, this is going to happen,” and then you realize that while yeah you probably could use physical violence to stop her even though she’s actually bigger than you, legally even, who are the police going to believe? You, or the crying woman who knows she can weaponize the entire justice system which doesn’t even consider it rape for her to do that (it’s legally defined as “sexual assault” at worst since “rape requires penetration” so woman can’t be charged with rape in my area)? I guess this is happening and I’m going to feel guilty about it for years even though I shouldn’t, fucking cool.

      Violence and rape is more likely to come from someone you know than randos on the street, and ime while women who wish to victimize people don’t have the upper hand in physical stature, the ones so inclined know how to weaponize the justice system effectively enough to get what they want.

      And btw if a woman is randomly attacking people on the street meth is usually involved, they shouldn’t be so confident.