I’m totally dumbfounded and brains splattered. WTF! How did I go 4 years of vegan without learning about this stuff!

Goals: Fajitas Philly cheese stake

If can get this done, I will die a happy man.

Wow! That looks complicated but looks delicious!. I have to learn about saitan.

We already have plenty of world ruining weapons. Trump just wants some coated I’m gold. A big beautiful yellow mushroom.

So if everyone only had 1 kid or 2 kids, then population might stabilize and start shrinking. Then we just gotta keep it small enough to maintain a good standard of living. Of course all of us old fucks have to die.

Ya no!u emandukate! Es de art of leahrnin thengs in chool. Spezailee fram bauks and teachairs teachaining al de quids.

Permanently flying dildos that take turns during speeches.

Every time I’m out looking for tooth paste I have to dig and dig for the one or two that don’t have that ingredient. It’s annoying as heck. Everything is fine and then you return from a vacation with a canker sore because the travel pack had it. I wanna sue somebody over this.

Would it be possible to slowly reduce the pressure around our body such that we can decompress into the Martian pressure level?

No. Vegan now.

A Narzisit? Vs A Narzist?

No, I can see them floating by…they’re just not swimming here. Also they’re not swimming here exactly where the sign is. But they are swimming right over there 6" to the left!

Opening someone’s head to pretend to have done something sounds very unnecessarily cruel and stupid.

Sounds like a fly-over shit hole state to me.

How come the crocks are not swimming here? Look at the sign!

One day, there will be someone cleaning their fridge only to find a perfectly preserved Costco Trump stake. The last of its kind. He cooks it and enjoys the lead infested flesh. Later he finds it was worth $35.50 has he found the right buyer.

That’s the stuff that triggers canker sores in your mouth.

The April fool’s bill apparently.

SDPD, SPD, OPD, LAPD: you mean they didn’t shoot first? How does that even work?

And HR by definition must act like a total asshole almost no matter what the situation is.

Bird poo is basically forest tree food. If you wash it away it will sink into the ground and be lost. Plants love it.