Amazon.com Inc. won’t have enough space for thousands of employees when they start returning to the office five days a week next month.
Amazon announces it has too much office space.
Amazon’s right hand mandates RTO.
Amazon’s left hand sells off office space.
Amazon’s right hand finds it doesn’t have enough space for RTO and delays it.
Amazon’s left hand scrambles to buy RTO for its office space.
Amazon admits it has forgotten what RTO is and advises staff to disregard all RTO memos until further notice.
Amazon announces project RTO to debut in Q3 2025. The announcement is vague but it is believed to involve AI.
Next its gonna be “Amazon instates RTO mandate, but employees must rent their own office space since Amazon doesn’t have enough. Anything but working inside of your own home. This will not be reimbursed”
Just rent space in your colleague’s house and they rent space in yours through a series of LLCs that form a cooperative that bills Amazon.
Somebody will coordinate with enough coworkers to corner the market on this and brand it something catchy, like “Wework.”
They were expecting more to quit?
Hoping - RTO is just a way to downsize without technically needing to lay anyone off.
Yeah, but in normal layoffs you try to retain your top talent. When you try to make people want to quit, you tend to loose your best people first, as they’ll have the easiest time getting a better job elsewhere.
They need to tighten them instead
Surprised if there isn’t news of a massive beanbag delivery. And then instead of corrals of desks in an open office plan, they have a floor-sized ball pit of beanbags… You can sit anywhere.
They can just throw them directly into the mulcher, that’s where most of us ended up anyway
So, musical chairs to decide who still has a job?
Russian roulette
