• SupraMario@lemmy.world
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    49 minutes ago

    how long has trump being prosecuted? Years and years and years…Luigi should run for president, effective immediately so they have to delay the verdicts…

  • samus12345@lemm.ee
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    5 hours ago

    if Mr. Mangione had spent more time pulling on his bootstraps and less time feeling sorry for himself and obsessing over his debilitating chronic back pain that UnitedHealthcare refused to cover treatment of – for I’m sure for very good reasons – he might have one day helmed a parasitic corporation of his own. Sadly, he chose another path.”

    Love the satire, but one important point: Luigi didn’t have UHC insurance. So if he did do this, it wasn’t even because of a personal grudge - it was to strike back at a system in general that fucked him over.

    • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org
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      2 hours ago

      Huh. I haven’t seen that factoid before.

      It distances the motive from personal vendetta. It provides support to the narrative that he did this for principles, and not revenge.

        • AgentDalePoopster@lemmy.world
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          30 minutes ago

          I would imagine it might be because United denies claims more than most (all?) other major insurance providers. I mean, it could be because of that, if Luigi did it, but he’s innocent so this is purely hypothetical.

    • ZeroCool@slrpnk.netOP
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      7 hours ago

      Right? Solid satire, but just to give credit where it’s due, this is from hard-drive.net which is a gaming/tech focused spin-off of a music satire site called The Hard Times. They consistently crack me up so just wanted to take the opportunity to credit them.

      • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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        7 hours ago

        Point taken. I meant Onion in the same way you say Kleenex instead of tissue. It’s now a general term for any satirical news article.

        • ZeroCool@slrpnk.netOP
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          6 hours ago

          Oh no worries, I totally get it! I was just linking for the sake of anyone reading the comments because those are both quality sites that are worth reading. I’ve found the name of this community can be kind of misleading, so it’s not uncommon for people to be unaware of how many quality satire sites are out there besides The Onion.

  • Pringles@lemm.ee
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    6 hours ago

    There are plenty of toll evaders, homeless, minorities, and otherwise lesser people whose lives you could have taken, and were that the case I would not feel so inclined to mete out such a harsh sentence but in this instance you leave me no choice but to impose the harshest ruling possible.

    Never change, The Onion, never change!

    Edit: alright, I assumed it was the Onion based on the community. But sure, it was some other site.

  • Rhaedas@fedia.io
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    7 hours ago

    That’s Vader-level “I have altered the deal. Pray I do not alter it further.”