People who haven’t really resumed socializing at levels they used to, people who lost the capacity to regulate during interpersonal interactions, people who lost trust in others… I encounter lots of partial returners out there
I know a person that had been in hospital most of their life so basically a 20 year covid-type of situation but for their own health. They are 24 now, and trying to socialize still even when they didn’t learn as a child-teen. I’m trying to help him but don’t know what to do since he’s such a unique case
Some lost their ability to regulate from everybody else being critically stupid, some see everybody still being dumb about it and aren’t gonna play such a transparently stupid game. Some got long covid, the worst outcome of all, the thing you wear a mask to stop.
Multiple causes.
I was never really social to begin with, so I just resumed being my normal introverted self.
COVerts?
Intcoverts?
That’s pretty good, actually
I’m in this post and I don’t like it. I used to be social as hell, now I’m almost a hermit.
Same, and honestly it eats me away inside
Were you in any particular transition during that period? Like high school to college or 20s to 30s? I wonder if that worsened the impact for people, if the social isolation happened to time with important life transitions
I miss the pandemic. Socially isolating meant I got to spend more time with my kids and extended family than I had in decades due to limited sports and other activities. And even work, while it didn’t stop (luckily), provided more valance - especialy more than now.
It’s amazing to see a perspective from such a different place on the spectrum. Spending more time with the kids is fine but watching them stagnate with little social life was really hard. I think it’s highly dependent on their age. Under 3: pure bonus for the kid because the parents are home more. 3-5: terrible for the kid because this is the time they’re supposed to be developing socialization with friends at preschool/school. 5-10: bummer but they got through it. My son got hit right in the 3-5 period. His social skills and life have still not fully cleared the cloud this put over him. Daughter was in the 5-10 and was able to get something out of remote school and limited access to her friends. Son got a raw deal.
It was also just physically so trying. You know how your day just goes differently when the kids are sick and don’t go to school? You have to attend to them the whole day through to make sure they are okay and not just stagnating on the couch and you can’t necessarily leave the house or do errands etc during the day like you normally would. It was like that, but for over a year, with lots of added stresses involved from the pandemic itself.
A scarring time. My job gave me something to focus on from home. But my wife, who is a full time parent, says she has never recovered.
I’ll be honest, the lockdowns were awesome for me. “Now you bitches get to see how I live.”
And the mad increase of online ordering, no contact pickup, and how people aren’t crawling up your ass in line at the grocery store anymore? I could not have hoped for better.
Gods do I miss social distance lines
I miss having free time without the impending pressure to do things.
I’m health wise OK but my wife isn’t for the rest of her life so I have to take precautions everywhere. I don’t mind because I really don’t like dealing with people anyway.
I do grocery pickup and go inside the store maybe four or five times a year now.
I haven’t been to the inside of a restaurant in over three years, we use patios and sidewalk tables outdoors.
I specifically only ever use gas stations where you pay at the pump.
I haven’t been to a mall or indoor space with people in years now.
I order everything else to my door.
I really don’t miss dealing with people and now find it completely weird and disorienting to deal with people in public now.
now find it completely weird and disorienting to deal with people in public now.
This is what I’ve been hearing (and experienced). And that it’s not a preference, it’s more that the nervous system has struggled to recalibrate; or there was not enough opportunity for it to do so and that has led to a feedback loop
😌 It truly was the good old days when we just had a global pandemic to worry about.
I go out but I do most of my big shopping as delivery. I just can’t bring myself to go to Walmart very often. Most of my little shopping is at dollar stores. You know, the little things we used to get at what we used to call “milk stores.”
Yeah it was certainly a net positive for some. Of course this post isn’t a criticism of those that enjoyed it, or were unaffected by it. But there is a sort of lost generation group, so to speak, too. That includes younger people who feel maladroit or disconnected in a way that they tie to that period. People who already struggled to socialize and the period made it worse enough that they never recovered
Yeah my youngest kid was on the middle of her second school year when the lockdown started. She was so anxious around people when in person school started again. She’s gotten somewhat better in the past couple years, but still not quite the same.
Yes some kids I know, it just sort of became how they identify: shy, more anxious
The impostor syndrome and such are crazy though, when working remotely from my dust and cockroaches box.
Partial returners seems like a good name for it.
Small rant incoming:
I’m actually still stuck inside more than in the Pandemic. Essential worker so I still went outside daily until i never got my energy back after having covid for the 5th? time.
About 3 years of doctors not really knowing how to treat it and encouraging me to keep trying what i could each day, which led to me basically destroying my body, until i got one of my countries leading experts who immediately told me to take bed rest the second i feel tired.
Since my immune system is basically gone i got a bunch of other illnesses some of which will probably never go away since the meds only alleviate the symptoms.
Upside is that I’ve been trialing a bunch of expirimental treatments for the specialised clinic that is opening soon, some of which had small but immediate effects. So at least those that will get diagnosed in the future don’t need to wait as long hopefully.
I got ME/CFS (closely related to long COVID) that first started in early 2020, so this is very relatable. As everyone was going back to normal I was getting worse. Do you mind if I ask what had a good effect? The only thing I’ve found that helps (other than rest and pacing) is nicotine patches for the brain fog.
Currently seeing some decent effects from low dose naltrexon, although it seems to shift my energy more than it increases it. The further I’m from having taken my daily (evening) dose the better i feel, but in the mornings I’m extra tired and can’t really focus my eyesight.
But it’s hard to separate the side effects from the multiple other treatments I’m building the dosages for.
Ah yeah, I’ve heard some promising things about LDN. My doctor won’t prescribe it for me though. There’s apparently a different version of it that’s being researched but it’s early days. Good luck with all.
I’m glad to hear you live in a country where you can get more specialized support! I hope the new treatments pan out
I got really lucky to get the right expert as my new doctor, since the upcoming clinic would only treat about 1000 patients a year with an estimated 60k waiting for treatment.
I’ve had bad anxiety my entire life, but I never felt like I really had social anxiety before the pandemic. Now I have a hard time talking to pretty much anyone unless they talk to me first.
…hi.
…and that’s enough social interaction for today.
I call them “my people.”
I call us Happy! thank god for home office
I’m convinced anyone who wants to go back to the office just wants to get away from their family.
WFH is the way. I technically get off in 8 minutes but already shirtless on my back patio chillin. No commute, no dress code
When talking about people with ASD that’s called unmasking and is one of the main goals of therapy.
Assuming ASD stands for antisocial disorder, I didn’t realize there was therapy for it. I thought it was essentially just “I don’t like those people, and I don’t like THOSE people either…actually, I don’t like most people. I’m just going to keep to myself.”
Now, maybe I’m wrong, and ASD stands for something else.
Autistic Spectrum Disorder.
We don’t have a natural ability to infer emotions from body language, for a start. We have to learn to actively pay attention to it. Replacing natural instinct that a neurotypical person has with an active thought process is tiring, for a start.
Add to that most ASD people have trouble with emotional control, need to actively think about their own facial expressions, and often have social quirks that are unacceptable like nail biting which must be actively repressed… and being around others for hours on end is exhausting.
On top of this, most ASD people also have ADHD, and in the modern open office environment between the social aspect and never ending barrage of distraction, and the workplace is hostile, actively hostile to folks with ASD.
This combination of factors leads to having no where to unmask and relax until they get home. When they do, they are so exhausted from being something they are not for 10 hours (commute has to be included as its all public space) that when they get home they just shut down. They don’t call family or friends usually, they don’t get things around the house done. They have to turn off and try to re-energize themselves for doing it all again tomorrow.
I know all this as I am ASD and ADHD
Being able to work from home has brought actual balance to our lives as we can unmask the moment the camera goes off, we have rooms at home where we can close the door and remove distractions (well except mandatory work chats, but its a matter of muting that for focus) and at the end of the day we still have energy for our actual lives. In other words, this is the true work-life balance that I had always heard of but never truly felt I had.
If it makes you feel better, they aren’t hostile to you for your conditions. They’re hostile to EVERYBODY. The world is just filled with shitty people, who enjoy making others lives awful. It’s also full of people who are just looking for every easy advantage and scheme the system has to be taken advantage of…even at the expense of others. They aren’t hostile because of ADHD and ASD. They’re hostile because you exist, and therefore maybe can be taken advantage of. And if you can’t be taken advantage of, then you’re of no use to them.
Well, working from home it still requires discipline to optimize distractions, but it’s at least possible.
Absolutely, especially with ADHD in the mix. When demand aversion kicks in, your brain literally tries to undermine any attempt to focus unless you can force it to cooperate. Music usually helps me with this.
Autistic Spectrum Disorder.
That would be ASPD.
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We had a name before the pandemic… It’s “introvert.”
Yeah, because every job is made remote for introverts.
I’m more referring to people who aren’t so much choosing to isolate. Not a preference, but a loss of the capacity or opportunities to socialize
That happens to almost anyone on a long enough timeline. You have to let yourself be uncomfortable while you rebuild those social skills.
Absolutely. It comes down to exposure therapy, basically. Reacclimation.
During the pandemic I moved to the country, stopped using social media, and got a remote working job. I think the people who used to know me assume I’m dead.
I’m not placing trust in anyone who sold us out to corporations and fascists a second time
