I use the most boring names: LASTNAME-LAPTOP LASTNAME-PHONE LASTNAME-SERVER LASTNAME-ROUTER

But, living in tight suburban spaces, I’m never confused whether a device is mine or somebody else’s.

You might be thinking of WinCo.

Ah, but you missed the most interesting problem, the side effects. Like, what if one of the rare side effects is sometimes you grow a tooth where you aren’t supposed to. Like in your butt.