OP

maybe don’t watch that, jihadi blowing his skull off staring down a rifle, no blood and guts, but still…

Oh god. Not as bad, but my ex-wife butt dialed me from the operating theater.

“Yeah, he wants to have kids. LOL, fuck all that!”

Yeah, I heard that.

Hah! Reminds me of having moved out of dad’s basement. 6-months later the wall caved in on my bed, couple of tons of concrete. SPLAT.

I count my ex leaving me as one of the highlights of my life. She took the kids as well, but after a few years of fucking me, the judge handed her her ass on a silver platter. Kids are here now!

And my new wife? Gods what a fantasy woman, tell her that all the time. I’m stupid lucky.

Nice! I’m a guy who also kept the house. It’s a small Habitat for Humanity place, but its got a big yard and I’m on the edge of town.

Ex is living in rent-to-own shack in bumfuck Arkansas with the kids. Literally a one stoplight town. At least the kids get to live here 1/4 of the year.

That’s brains and hard work. Lemmy does not accept that as a way to move forward. Next time try to dig on capitalism or nepotism or some other -ism. No one gets ahead by hard work. No one.

Nice! Met my best friend laying on my couch reading one of my books. Fuck is this guy?! One of my loser roommates friends?

“Dragonlance is badass!”

“You’re on the first book of the second trilogy. Here, read Dragons of Autumn Twilight before you ruin the plot.”

SEE: username

Dad told me this in the early 90s. Listen: “This might sound racist, but you were damned lucky to be born a young, white, American male in the late 20th century.”

He was right. Double lucky, because mom would have aborted my happy ass if it had been legal in 1971. And now here I am to pester all y’all with my bullshit opinions!

Heysus. And to think my ex tried to keep my kids away from me.

“Dodge this.”

You did that.

Nurse dosed me with penicillin when I was 5 (1976).

Parents, “We don’t know if he’s allergic!”

Nurse: “Nonsense.”

Thank god I was already in the ER.

Yea but I’m not baggin’ on a middle-aged lady gettin’ some in a dark theater. FFS, we can bag on her for 100 other things, like shooting fish in a barrel.

Meh. I got it, sorta. Comments in here say otherwise.

Je suis Francais. J’ai froid. Je plaisante, j’ai je suis chaud.

I’m sure arguing with my ex about my little shit kids. Every summer my wife and I have to teach them basic shit like “please” and “thank you”. Their mother thinks manners are for hoity-toity people. No lie. She made fun of me for basic manners.

These fucking animals are 10 and 12 and still chunk food all over the floor when they eat. “Fuck does your mother do?!” “I dunno. She cleans it up.”

And now we take them back to momma this weekend, just when they start acting decently.

Last year they started to learn to swim! On their last day here. Mother is afraid of water and intends to protect them from drowning by instilling fear of water in them.

too spicy for most animals

I volunteer as tribute!

No joke, my pig has turned his nose up at my leftovers.

Well, I’ll take the cat that comforts people about to die.

This is a fucking nothing burger, and you all bought it. Boebert suggested Gaetz should lead an investigation. That’s it. End of story. She has very little power, he has no power, nothing will ever happen here.

No one, in or out of Congress, takes either of these two people seriously. Except of course lemmy. Lemmy thinks these are serious human beings with, uh, some kind of influence.

I’ll not defund the cunt, but the only reason there’s video is that it was in infrared. Nobody saw anything.

And if any of you Puritans haven’t got your finger wet in a dark theater, well, you do you.

One could theoretically create a Chihuahua/wolf hybrid. Imagine a 150lb. wolf with the brains and attitude of a Chihuahua. The mind boggles.