Crocodiles: Oh YEAH?

Bring forward the baby artillery if you PLEASE sir.

We are ventriloquists, ventriloquists, ventriloquists!

Jumpyhorse! I choose YOU!!! Use jump attack!

This is true. The other company can ask HR to consult the big book of grudges to determine if there are indeed grudges.

I would just stand there looking lost just to see how many more signs could be put up.

Why didn’t they just switch the dudes to kilts?!

Well look on the bright side…there’s probably a bright side!

Poor monkey is trying to catch his bus.

Is it affordable or is it one of those “price upon request” things?

Everything is a training opportunity if you have the commitment of a Jedi.

Like a bridge over MOTHERFUCKIN water, I will lay YOUR ASS down.

Recipe: Add 1/4 cup of cheese.
Me: Adding 1 cup of cheese got it.

Let me off this blasted interstate you Maryland devils!

I prefer to do a fistfight over text.

Hey baby I brought home some dinner-
“Husband. Thy presence brings thoughts of philosophical questions.”
Alright. I’m just gonna eat this burrito though.

Nice. Now I can have two grapes!

Control Z. I said CONTROL Z! What’s wrong with this paper!?

I once showed up 8 hours late for work. My boss wanted our team to have three eight hour shifts but he kept changing the start times and team members so much no one knew when anyone else was working unless they checked the schedule. When I showed up that day I realized I should have worked the previous shift, and another manager asked what I was still doing there. I picked up a clip board and told him I need to check some things. Basically I just stopped in front of various things, nodded slowly, then drew a picture. My boss saw me and said I was a shining example of what to do.