Since nobody seems to have read the article:

Following the unusual birth, Krispy Kreme has offered Dallas, and, more pertinently, his family free doughnuts for a year and will throw Dallas a birthday party every year until he’s an adult.

This is one of the best things I’ve seen on the internet

Probably because he expected for that sort of money for the only reaction to be people jizzing themselves

GabeN quote still as relevant as ever