Lol, you realise the 1. And 2. On a dictionary imply separate contexts, right? You intentionally chose the context for apology that applies to a defence of criticism in literature, not a person to person apology for a mistake made.
You’ve made yourself a clown and now you’re doubling down. It’s so rich, I love it. I’m going to end this little exchange on this delicious high note. Enjoy your weekend with your hand, buddy, because I won’t respond anymore, I’ll just let you impotently stew in it!
Buy a third set and then pick two devices for each pair.