

I’m ok with the age. I looked through some of my high school alumni group Facebook page tonight, and i look positively youthful compared to some of my classmates. 50 feels just right to me. And my bewbies still turn heads, I wore a super low cut plunging neckline dress to a restaurant last summer that is practically down to my navel, this ridiculous resort garb dress, and this one guy next to me with another woman couldn’t help but take a long lingering look down my happy valley. And I didn’t mind, because I looked good and I knew it.
It’s ok,I know what you mean. I would honestly rather not have sex anymore because of my circumstances being very difficult, but if I met someone who was interesting and read books and listened to music and dressed well, and took an interest in me and was happy to see me and make an effort to get to know me, and if he was 20 years younger than me, sure why not? As long as he was a good listener about how I like to do it, because I’m different than other women in how I like to get off.
But this man has overall been a disaster for me, masquerading as someone good, but just really cut from the same cloth as his malignant narcissist mother, which is pretty bad. He accused me tonight of some things that were pretty ugly, and that’s hard. I’d love to spend some time with someone who actually seemed to like me all of the time. I’m writing this while on my Ambien so it’s hard to articulate.