• JackbyDev@programming.devEnglish
    12·
    22 hours ago

    This is the type of person to say things like “Why can other men pick up females and I can’t?” It’s so over the top I think it’s satire.

  • WolfLink@sh.itjust.works
    32·
    2 days ago

    When someone genuinely likes you they will listen to you talk for hours about anything just because they like hearing you be passionate about something.

    • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      5·
      21 hours ago

      also it’s probably more important to not be too unattractive - people are focusing too much on the ceiling but they need to focus on the floor

      • naught101@lemmy.world
        5·
        16 hours ago

        Nah. You can’t do much about how you look, beyond basic hygene and self care.

        You can easily do something about being interested in other people’s lives, and being happy for them being happy and commiserating with them when they’re sad. The bonus with this focus is it also makes you feel better about yourself in the long run.

        • iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works
          3·
          13 hours ago

          You can’t do much about how you look, beyond basic hygene and self care.

          That was exactly how I read their comment. Don’t worry about trying to reach the ceiling, focus on staying off the floor. Basic hygiene, grooming, caring about yourself.

        • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          3·
          15 hours ago

          I think there is so much you can do for how you look - skin care, hydration, diet, exercise, etc. can radically change the way a person looks - but I tend to agree that personality matters much more. My point is that most people seem to get lost trying to make themselves physically attractive, and incel culture like looksmaxxing seem to fall into that logic as well, but they miss that the bar is lower than they expect. And of course, your point is missed by this community as well - that looks are even less important overall than how you hold yourself and interact, etc. - the mental stuff is the most important. Luckily good diet, hydration, and exercise help with that too!

      • Jax@sh.itjust.works
        21·
        20 hours ago

        I think that they just need to look like they didn’t just pick themselves off the floor, realistically.

    • ameancow@lemmy.worldEnglish
      51·
      22 hours ago

      Being emotionally balanced and secure about something at all in your life goes a long way to building a character that other people want to be around.

      If these terms are meaningless to you and you don’t get it, you’re not ready for dating.

      • areyouevenreal@lemm.ee
        41·
        22 hours ago

        You know I am honestly not so sure. I have seen people who definitely aren’t healthy, and probably not emotionally secure who get and sometimes keep relationships. It’s a lot more complex than you think. Some part of this is because obviously people with similar issues want to be together, but I think as well that things like physical attractiveness do have a role. It’s also the case that being a nice person and being emotionally stable aren’t actually the same thing, and often don’t go together. In fact to me it seems like people who have issues are actually less judgemental. Some of the worst people are those who have never struggled with anything.

        It’s like how people have this concept that they either are or aren’t worthy of love. I don’t think that’s even a valid idea to begin with as there is no universal standard for what people want in a partner. Someone either wants you or they don’t, worthiness just isn’t a large factor.

        • fibojoly@sh.itjust.works
          1·
          7 hours ago

          You’re looking at unbalanced relationships. As you say, there are plenty and some even keep going somehow. But they are not really what anyone should aim for, right? We can recognise we are not perfect and still aim high and try to improve. And of course we should probably be supporting our similarly imperfect partner do the same. Teamwork and all that.

          The whole worthiness bullshit is self inflicted pain. I had a good friend exactly in that situation, thinking she didn’t deserve love because she had cheated in her previous relationship. Took her a few years and the support and love of her friends before she realised that’s not how things work at all. Ended up married with a gamer and a kid and opening a boardgames café together.

    • rabber@lemmy.caEnglish
      24·
      2 days ago

      But do not confuse being a nice person with being a ‘nice guy’.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
      2·
      1 day ago

      It’s really be nice to be around. If people enjoy being near you they’ll want to do it more and some will want to date you

    • NaevaTheRat [she/her]@vegantheoryclub.orgEnglish
      111·
      2 days ago

      All the blokes I’ve met that are happy in love are just gentle and respectful, especially of consent.

      Turns out, and I know this is a shocker, we’re not fucking aliens we just want to be treated as equally valuable and interesting people.

      • bss03@infosec.pubEnglish
        7·
        2 days ago

        Attempting to avoid triggering negative feelings (e.g. disgust) in the people around you is part of #1.

        That generally requires #2, but might not depending other actions and niche situations.

          • bss03@infosec.pubEnglish
            5·
            20 hours ago

            Many people share their home with others. They would still shower to the nice.

            While a daily shower is overkill, and there are other ways to deal with it, most people need some sort of bathing routine as part of basic skin care: removing accumulated dust, dirt, sebum, sweat, etc. from the skin, particularly joints/folds/crevices.

            • festnt@sh.itjust.works
              2·
              22 hours ago

              in any tropical area, daily showers are a requirement. in colder places they might be overkill, but idk

  • Monument@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    38·
    2 days ago

    I dated a woman much taller than me, and received an unnatural amount of glances at my crotch when we were out in public together.

    People are so ridiculous.

  • Glytch@lemmy.world
    151·
    2 days ago

    what is he doing that I’m not?

    Having self confidence about his passions and being willing to talk about them with someone who might get it the first time. Believe it or not a lot of women like to listen to guys gush about their passions.

  • Blackmist@feddit.ukEnglish
    50·
    2 days ago

    Maybe he’s out there talking to women instead of hanging out on 4chan smoking weed all day…

    Strange how far that gets you.

    • ameancow@lemmy.worldEnglish
      2·
      22 hours ago

      I’d say that 4-channer needs to touch grass, but it probably has a restraining order at this point.

  • 2ugly2live@lemmy.worldEnglish
    47·
    2 days ago

    Probably didn’t go in with the idea that the only way she would be interested in similar hobbies was for her to be whipped in some way and just treated her like a person. 🤷🏿‍♀️

  • PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat
    1166·
    2 days ago

    It’s hard to say from such a distance, but it may be that he is good at sex and trustworthy. That’s enough a lot of the time. People make things too complicated.

    • Endymion_Mallorn@kbin.melroy.org
      682·
      2 days ago

      Can confirm. Source: am short white guy, my ex is a truly statuesque black woman. Only way I know it’s not about me is because I don’t bother with Fallout past 2.

      • kaosof@lemmy.world
        62·
        2 days ago

        Well see, that’s a real mistake.

        I can take or leave the others, but New Vegas is special. It has plenty of shortcomings, but it’s still the last good Fallout.

        • Endymion_Mallorn@kbin.melroy.org
          254·
          2 days ago

          It’s an FPS. I’m totally uninterested in the gameplay.

          Unless it can be played as a 2D turn-based strategy RPG, I’m not going to bother with it. If they made a Geneforge 6 and made it an FPS, I’d be just as turned off. I feel the same way about Might & Magic vs. Heroes of Might & Magic.

          • Mongostein@lemmy.ca
            7·
            2 days ago

            Have you tried Wasteland? I can’t remember the connection, but some of the developers were involved with or close the production of the first 2 Fallouts.

            These games feel like what Fallout would have become had they not changed to FP.

            I’m playing 3 right now. It’s great.

          • camr_on@lemmy.world
            5·
            2 days ago

            There’s a playable version of Fallout Van Buren, the original fallout 3, that has a lot of the same story points, themes, and settings as New Vegas. I also recommend Wasteland 2 and 3 if you haven’t played them

          • LittleBorat3@lemmy.world
            10·
            2 days ago

            But fallout has this function for people without hand eye coordination i.e. RPG players where you hit V and then you can pick the body parts to aim at.

              • Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
                8·
                2 days ago

                You can use a third person camera but yeah it’s still a different pov.

                Have you tried Underrail ? It’s popular among the old school fallouts fans

              • tetris11@lemmy.ml
                3·
                2 days ago

                How do you sniper an enemy in 2D turn-baaed RPG? The game map would have to zoom out a lot to get any sneak advantage

              • JokeDeity@lemm.ee
                22·
                2 days ago

                It’s pretty clear after reading enough comments that you just aren’t interested in trying anything outside of your incredibly narrow selection of RTS and point and click games. That being said virtually every point you bring up is a non-issue with New Vegas because of the incredible mod library. Hell, I’m sure there’s a collection of mods to turn New Vegas into a top down RTS if you look. Just wanted to point out that bringing things up point by point will be an eternity because New Vegas is so customizable, you’ll save yourself time by just saying you don’t have interest in trying out new things you aren’t already experienced with.

                • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
                  41·
                  2 days ago

                  The person you’re responding to straight up already said “I’m disinterested in the game because it’s not what I wanted” and you’re out here arguing with them about having an opinion.

                  They only continued to explain themselves because people couldn’t accept they had a different opinion.

                  MAYBE just MAYBE you ought to allow others to be themselves.

      • JokeDeity@lemm.ee
        8·
        2 days ago

        Brother, New Vegas is one of the greatest games ever created. There are probably a hundred hours worth of video essays on YouTube about why this game is a masterpiece. There’s a reason it has one of the biggest and still active Nexus Mods page. There’s a reason there’s an active online multiplayer mod of this game that came out in 2009. It’s fucking good.