Like, seriously, I have had a few people talk about how my fiancé wasn’t conventionally attractive, but he’s attractive to me :)
Plus, he’s good to me, and I don’t date for looks. I’ve had conventionally attractive exes too who have been horrible people, so…
You’re getting a lot of answers from chronic singles on this thread.
The answer is: It depends on where you are in life and what you needs as a person.
Generally you value different things in a partner as you grow older. A loving, caring, responsible person may be less appealing if you don’t live with them and share no responsibilities and instead are looking for fun and trouble, so you can prioritize other things you like.
As you grow older, you expect different things and reorganize your priorities. You might be more concerned about someone’s personality if you want then to raise your child, than if you want them to get you Molly and fuck.
These comments are crazy lol.
The idea of “shallowness” is stupid. It’s a normal part of human attraction to prefer people that are visually attractive, so it’s unusual when people ignore that and take conventionally unattractive partners.
It’s similar to having a partner who’s kind of an asshole. Why would you do that? Cuz they’re hot? It’s just as odd and one-sided in the reverse.
Now, if you just find conventionally unattractive people to be attractive, then that’s another story – that would show that you’re not making excuses for ignoring basic elements of human attraction.
Also, if you truly don’t value physical attractiveness to the degree that other people do, and are not just saying that to cope with having a less beautiful partner, then that’s totally fair. People are just commenting on it because for most people, physical beauty is a core part of attraction, and ignoring that fact is a big sign of denial and deeper unhappiness. But if that doesn’t apply to you, then rock on.
Thank you so much!! Attractiveness truly doesn’t matter to me. (I mean, it does to an extent, if they’re covered in oozing sores like someone said, I would care.) But I do find him attractive physically and personalitywise!!
To me, he looks like your typical young man and my perfect fiancé ❤️.
That’s wonderful, I’m happy for you. I hope you ignore the haters :)
Thank you! My best friend thinks he’s cute!
Ah, I see, you want to be the pretty one in the relationship ;)
Your dad needs to get over it, I can’t imagine saying anything like that to any of my kids. Just "are you happy? Is he happy? Good, then "
I can’t imagine caring that a happy family member or friend’s partner is less conventionally attractive, much less saying that to them!
You need to meet and surround yourself with less horrible people.
You don’t have to explain if you’re attracted to your partner or not. Some people are assholes who can’t be happy unless others are unhappy. Personally I would tell them to fuck off and just not talk to them anymore.
There are people who dress for comfort or the weather, and others dress to impress.
You can drive a car that’ll get you there, or you can drive one that makes people jealous.
The people who are concerned with how attractive their partner is to others, are the same people that are worried about how others view their material possessions.
i’m pretty sure no one is jealous of the car that doesn’t get there no matter how pretty it is
Then why do so many of my neighbors display broken down cars in their front lawns?
Checkmate, atheists!
they grew up wanting to collect cars and no one said they had to be operable
Tell them that they’re ugly and that their partner is ugly. Don’t expand on it, don’t debate, just leave them at that. I’ve found that doing that really fucks with people. That, smiling, and staring at their foreheads, though not altogether because then you look like a jackass. It needs to be subtle and honest.
These words are in English, but the sentiment is so foreign to me I can’t seem to comprehend it.
…might be fried from work and classwork, tho.
Try to get some rest, friend, you’ll be all better in the morning. One step at a time, it’s gonna be alright.
It doesn’t matter what other people think of your partner. Only what you think. Fuck the haters.
It’s been said before, but I’ll repeat it: some people are shallow.
Generally a good thing to be attracted to the person you’re fucking
Aggressive lmao
You can be attracted to someone who isn’t “attractive”. Many people are.
Many people are themselves not particularly attractive, so this is may be a matter of realistic expectations.
It’s only interesting when there’s a large disparity in attractiveness which is generally anomalous. I think “many” falling into this category is probably an overstatement.
He’s very attractive to me and his personality is great!
Better to be attracted by the person you love. In most cases men will fuck anything given the opportunity and they sure as hell don’t care about aesthetics when in that situation.
Nope, just not true.
Sexuality is heavily tied to aesthetic attraction, in most men too.
Respectfully going to disagree with you. I’m sure there exist both men and also women who will do this, but by no means is this the norm. I would argue the lion’s share of people need to at least be attracted to the other person in some way before pursuing any level of physical intimacy.
some only care about money, and think they can be stay at home moms forever.
The only time I’ve ever cared about someone’s appearance, is if they are covered in festering boils or oozing sores. Because that shit looks contagious.
Exactly! And my fiancé has neither
I seriously don’t know anyone who thinks that way, I’m sorry you have to deal with those sort of people.
The majority of people I have met only care that you are happy and the rest I ignore.
It’s ok 🫂
I agree with you.
Well for what its worth, if you’re happy I’m happy.
And if you aren’t happy you can talk to me even though I have no idea what I can do to help.
People notice things that they are self-conscious about. Not even that they’re necessarily insecure about it, but when you think about something a lot, you tend to notice it in other people as well.
So I’d say it’s because your friends and family think a lot about their own appearances. Likely because they’re insecure about their own appearances.
I, too, am in a mixed attractiveness relationship. Though I’m on the opposite side as you. All I can say is if my wife was receiving those comments, she did not show it. After all these years I think her family and friends accept me.
But in all seriousness, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you are happy, then that’s all that matters.
People care about that? Not in my life is that an issue
