• robocall@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Report the Israeli to HR for the potato joke before anyone reports you. Also mention everyone else and say that they were all laughing and pointing at you.

  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zip
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    3 months ago

    Actual autist here: Took me a loooong time to figure out a whole bunch of social concepts when it comes to what neurotypicals basically deem as small talk.

    Firstly, you basically just have to accept that for most people, a level of classist, racist, other kinds of stereotypical insults are socially viewed as basically acceptable, even though its usually quite obvious they are, in fact, insults.

    Then you have to understand the concept of proportionality in small talk. You have to reply with something that’s very obviously and directly relevant, and of the same magnitude.

    (Jumping from an insult about dietary preferences to an insult about war crimes is not the same magnitude)

    Encapsulating this entire social interaction is the setting: coworkers of mixed nationality likely and an after work dinner likely implies an expectation of basically corporate social etiquette, ie, back handed compliments to establish a social dominance hierarchy, where the name of the game us getting as close to breaching the invisible ‘wow what an asshole’ line without actually stepping over it.

    To avoid looking meek, docile, awkward or antisocial, you have to figure out an appropriate small talk style reply, which actually requires a fairly detailed knowledge of the other persons you are conversing with. Their culture, personal history, personal beliefs, etc.

    If you don’t do this at least semi-regularly, then you are a pushover who will be given higher workloads with no extra compensation and likely will not advance very far in your career, as you seem to be fine where you are.

    So ok, if you know a bit about Israelis, you might attempt to insult back along the lines of dietary preferences.

    But, its a faux pas to escalate even within this realm of responses: If you retort that you ‘prefer your potatoes with pork’, well, that’s probably going to be viewed as quite rude, as that’s still a higher magnitude, as it references something that is commonly known to be forbidden to most Israelis.

    What might be a proportional response would be ‘Sorry, I’d make them (the potatoes) into latkes for you, but I don’t have any eggs’.

    But that may still be deemed as overly offensive, depending on the temperament of the Israeli and the level to which the other coworkers feel the need to be defensive toward perceived anti-semitism.

    So, as an autistic person, you have to consciously have all this knowledge and think through it all logically in real time, all while your actual emotion is anger because you don’t give a fuck that the potato comment was supposed to be a joke, because it was in actuality a racist insult that actually references a fucking famine and a dietary stereotype that exists largely due to imperialist exploitation of your ancestors.

    In summary, yeah small talk is an absolute nightmare for autistic people who are in an aggressive, hostile social environment, which, at least in my experience, is almost all of them.

    • superkret@feddit.org
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      3 months ago

      (Jumping from an insult about dietary preferences to an insult about war crimes is not the same magnitude)

      The potato joke is also a joke about a genocide, though.

      Like “How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?”
      “None”

      • thermal_shock@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        seriously.

        insert potato joke

        “why is that funny?”

        let them try to explain

        “oh, I thought it was about he Irish Potato Famine, was a period of starvation and disease in Ireland lasting from 1845 to 1852 that constituted a historical social crisis and subsequently had a major impact on Irish society and history as a whole.”

        see how awkward it can get.

        • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          Even worse, the famine was entirely caused by landlords and especially the English. It wasn’t a natural disaster, but a product of monoculture that was forced on the people through no fault of their own.

    • Letstakealook@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      I’m autistic and I’ve learned to stop trying to play this game. Instead, I just make assholes like this explain their sideways ass comments in a straightforward fashion for the group. Forcing people to explain bigoted comments and not allowing the subject to change has now made everyone uncomfortable. Not so fucking funny anymore. I usually don’t have to do this more than once or twice within a specific group.

      • crashfrog@sopuli.xyz
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        3 months ago

        “Well, you know, Irish cuisine has a lot of potatoes in it.”

        Joke fucking explained. How do you figure the guy’s going to be on the spot, exactly?

          • jaycifer@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            “I guess I don’t know. Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it.” With a look on his face that clearly shows confusion at why you spent two whole responses about something as insignificant (in his mind) as potatoes. Everyone else probably has similar looks.

            For small talk like that you get one response on the topic. If someone said I should order potatoes because I’m Irish I’d lean so far into it, adapt an obvious accent, and say “Oh I do loove me potatoes.” If I wanted to backhand him a little I’d tack on “Except during the famine when there were no potatoes. Those were daark days” to the first statement. There’s enough humor in the accent to cover the callout mass starvation he probably unwittingly referenced.

            • Letstakealook@lemm.ee
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              3 months ago

              Well played, though I doubt some Israeli making genocide jokes is going to be that familiar with Irish cuisine.

                • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zip
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                  3 months ago

                  … Hummus is a popular staple of cuisine all over the eastern mediterranean and much of the middle east.

                  The word ‘hummus’ itself is from Arabic.

                  Hummus is not particularly unique to Israel.

                  You’ve apparently heard of hummus but you don’t know much about it.

      • Caveman@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Also autistic here. Let’s say you reply with “So why is that funny” and that person or a third person says “Don’t be so sensetive”. What’s the best way to force the explanation?

        • Restaldt@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          “Im not trying to be overly sensitive i genuinely just dont get the joke. Explain it to me. Make it funny.”

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      Most people are not aware, but potatoes are a reference to a holodomor-like government-induced famine that occurred in Ireland when the government of England made a policy of paying far over market rate for people to ship food out of Ireland.

      This weakened the Irish food market, leading to a situation where many people subsisted on the one crop that they could grow on their own property (as collective farm output was put on ships to elsewhere), which was potatoes.

      In that brittle situation, a fungus called a potato blight caused many people to starve to death because they were down to one last food source after the English mucking about.

      It didn’t happen in a time of war so it wasn’t a war crime, but what the English government did to the Irish people was definitely genocidal.

    • Comment105@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      I bid that non autistic people be named and categorized in a way that highlights their subtly hostile, backstabbing, cruel nature. You know, the common household “psychopath” who doesn’t actually meet the requirements for real psychopathy, but is still pathologically a dickish cynic playing a social game for minor wins in wealth and status, instead of simply being a friendly and polite contributor to society.

      They named us.

      Maybe we should name them.

      Describe the traits that define them. Go into detail about what exactly is so wrong with them. Why they kill rally for warmongers. Why they sabotage eachother. Why they face obvious long term problems with such oblivious nonchalance.

      • TheHarpyEagle@pawb.social
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        3 months ago

        instead of simply being a friendly and polite contributor to society.

        Do you think allistic people are inherently incapable of doing this earnestly?

      • Dasus@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Words aren’t bad in and of themselves, usually. For one, “psychopath” freely translates to “suffering soul” but you could also do “mind in disease”. Neither sound too insulting, per se, do they?

        You’ll alway have euphemisms and if there’s a difference that can be noted, then usually the people’s who differ from the norm will be called something “bad”.

        Take left-handed people. Sinister. That’s where the word comes from. “Sinister” as in the Latin word for “left”.

        Then we’ll just end up on the

        https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euphemism#Euphemism_treadmill

        Why care about what words someone uses if you know you have better ones yourself? It’s the intent behind the words that most often matters. To neurotypicals, anyway.

  • ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    “Remember when a colonizing power tried to exterminate your people?”

    Haw haw.

    Though seriously most Americans think the potato famine was a natural disaster and have no idea why it is called the great hunger.

    • Juice@midwest.social
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      3 months ago

      During the American War of Independence the reins were loosened a little. Further concessions had to be granted during the French Revolution. Ireland rose so quickly that her people threatened to outstrip the English. The English government drove them to rebellion and achieved the Union [390] by bribery. The Union delivered the death blow to reviving Irish industry. On one occasion Meagher said: all Irish branches of industry have been destroyed, all we have been left is the making of coffins. It became a vital necessity to have land; the big landowners leased their lands to speculators; land passed through four or five lease stages before it reached the peasant, and this made prices disproportionately high. The agrarian population lived on potatoes and water; wheat and meat were sent to England; the rent was eaten up in London, Paris and Florence. In 1836, £7,000,000 was sent abroad to absent landowners. Fertilisers were exported with the produce and rent, and the soil was exhausted. Famine often set in here and there, and owing to the potato blight there was a general famine in 1846. A million people starved to death. The potato blight resulted from the exhaustion of the soil, it was a product of English rule.

      Through the repeal of the Corn Laws Ireland lost her monopoly position on the English market, the old rent could no longer be paid. High prices of meat and the bankruptcy of the remaining small landowners further contributed to the eviction of the small peasants and the transformation of their land into sheep pastures. Over half a million acres of arable land have not been tilled since 1860. The yield per acre has dropped: oats by 16 per cent, flax by 36 per cent, potatoes by 50 per cent. At present only oats are cultivated for the English market, and wheat is imported.

      With the exhaustion of the soil, the population has deteriorated physically. There has been an absolute increase in the number of lame, blind, deaf and dumb, and insane in the decreasing population.

      Over 1,100,000 people have been replaced by 9,600,000 sheep. This is a thing unheard of in Europe. The Russians replace evicted Poles with Russians, not with sheep. Only under the Mongols in China was there once a discussion whether towns should be destroyed to make room for sheep.

      – International Workingmen’s Association 1867 Record of Speech by Karl Marx

    • 0laura@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      3 months ago

      honestly I just read it as Irish people liking potatoes, similar to the stereotype that Germans like sauerkraut

      • TheSlad@sh.itjust.works
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        3 months ago

        Irish people were forced to eat potatoes because they were subjugated by british lords who took everything else they farmed. When the potato “famine” happened, they were actually still producing plenty of other food, just that the British lords didnt care and still forced them to hand it over.

        Admittedly this is the extent of my knowledge on the situation, so you should look it up yourself if you want to know more.

        The “Joke” at the irish guy in the greentext is actually pretty insensitive and rude, much moreso than asking a german why he didnt order sauerkraut.

        Potatoes aren’t even native to Ireland.

        • Dasus@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Yeah about a million Irish died and a million emigrated.

          Ireland lost a quarter of it’s population.

          If the story wasn’t gake and fay, and if that joke about bombing hospitals gets someone into trouble, then the potato joke definitely should as well.

  • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.place
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    3 months ago

    That is some savage shit. If Eminem were at the table, he would have taken notes.

    Edit: I mean, yeah, he did go overboard, but that Israeli guy started it with the stupid ass potato joke. That shit was (1) uncalled for and (2) played out. If the Israeli guy goes to HR, they need to reprimand his ass, too, for trying to being offensive and sucking at it. At least my man here knows how to strike. You want him on your team.

        • superkret@feddit.org
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          3 months ago

          The Irish genocide is far enough in the past to have become sort of “folklore”.
          No one who experienced it is still alive or in living memory.
          That makes it better suited for small talk, and not equivalent to the Israeli genocide.

            • superkret@feddit.org
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              3 months ago

              I don’t know what you mean by “allowed”, AFAIK there is no western country (not even Germany) where it would be illegal. I don’t know the law in Israel.
              My friends and me made lots of those jokes 30 years ago.
              Not proud of it at all, but we were edgy 12-year-olds.

        • fartsparkles@sh.itjust.works
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          3 months ago

          Not entirely. Yes there was blight affecting crops but there was more to it than that.

          Huge volumes of unaffected produce were exported to England for profit - the decreased yields only impacting the market for locals. Previous famines has seen the British ban exports to ensure the local population had access to food (which also decreased the prices) but not this time around.

          English landlords of Irish property were evicting their tenants who weren’t able to pay (since the blight impacted many people’s ability to work) with zero notice or rights for the tenants. Absentee landlords were extracting huge amounts of capital out of the Irish economy, owning vast swathes of the entire country.

          The Irish were widely dependent on the potato as a primary form of sustenance but it was due to the potato being high in calories, cheap and easy to grow, and high density yields from relatively small plots of land (landlords dividing up the land into incredibly small divisions whilst simultaneously extracting the highest rent possible for the land).

          The Irish were, in essence, forced to eat potatoes due to the extreme economic exploitation they were subject to.

          Yet there was no aid from England; she simply sat by reaping profit and leaving things up to the divine - “the market will provide”. There had been efforts to change tariffs and laws but the contention in the governing party about providing aid caused the Prime Minister to resign and the subsequent government threw out all efforts (except those such as offering relief to those without land which forced many Irish to sell what land they had to gain relief and aid).

          A Prime Minister at the time launched a commission to investigate and it was found that the absentee landlord system was abhorrent and principally responsible for the famine.

          Sadly 1/4 of the population perished, and another 1/4 simply left the country. In some ways, Ireland never recovered.

        • superkret@feddit.org
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          3 months ago

          The potato blight was a natural disaster.
          The famine was caused by the British exporting the same amount of potatoes out of Ireland as before.

          • vind@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            They didn’t export potatoes out of Ireland, they exported everything else. Meaning there was no other food but potatoes for the Irish to eat.

            • Letstakealook@lemm.ee
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              3 months ago

              That, the rent system, and the British actively preventing aid (not at their expense!) really turned a bad situation into a full-blown genocide.

  • fibojoly@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    One thing I learnt in Ireland is you better have a thick skin because no quarter is given when it comes to slagging and taking the piss. And the more you take yourself seriously and the more they will gang up until you learn to shut the fuck up. Absolutely love it.

  • Caveman@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Gotta say, it’s fun to read in-depth conversation explainers from other autistic people. As an autistic person myself I think it’s quite fun and informative.

  • cybersandwich@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    The only response to that should have been a “too soooon!” Followed by uproarus laughter

    That’s a hilarious retort imo.

  • “Haha, remember that time the Irish were nearly exterminated via forced famine?” Odd thing to joke about with a random coworker. Should’ve instead suggested potato vodka served by a teenage split-lipped ginger mother of six and then segued into the specific reasons Ireland deserved the troubles. Or just avoided atrocities entirely. Either/or

    • Prunebutt@slrpnk.net
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      3 months ago

      “Haha, remember that time the Irish were nearly exterminated via forced famine?”

      Doesn’t seem too out of character for an Israeli.

  • Phoenixz@lemmy.ca
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    3 months ago

    Insult someone, get insulted back with a good burn and threaded to go to HR. Loads of adults in that room

    • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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      3 months ago

      That’s the their entire MO…

      Israelis are fuxking idiots if they think anyone is going to suffer them going forward.

      No quarter for genocide enablers.

  • nycki@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    i want to like this but I have to assume anyone still using pepe against the creator’s wishes is a shitbag

  • nifty@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    As Irish you don’t have distinct nationality anyway since you haven’t claimed any independence from the UK

    Edit if green text OP is from Northern Ireland, I am right. You can claim “ethnicity” but it doesn’t mean much when a crown claims you as subject 🤷‍♀️