As a kid, I learned to “pause” my true self. School was the pause, and my hobbies, dreams, and passions were the unpause—something I’d rush back to during lunch or after class.
Over time, the pauses got longer. Tiredness and responsibilities crept in, leaving little energy to unpause at the end of some days.
At work, sometimes the pressure and the demands were so relentless that I couldn’t unpause for weeks or months at a time.
Then came marriage, fatherhood, and the joy—and work—of raising a child.
I want my son to get to know the real me but I worry that by the time he is grown I won’t have any “self” to unpause to.
I don’t know your situation, but I am an overwhelmed father of two young kids and the only way I can cope is by choosing days where I make the time after the routine, knowing full well it will be a shitty day after that. No chores, unhealthy eating if I so choose and going to bed late.
It’s the best I’ve found so far that keeps me afloat. But we’re always one stuffy nose away from disaster.