You could rework this one to make a joke that works (though it’s not hilarious or anything, just standard bad dad joke levels)
I was judging saw [it feels like unless you’re a guest on a panel show, this is a more natural way to open] a finger-counting contest, and it was incredibly close.
On the one hand, the defending returning [I’m just assuming finger-counting contests don’t operate like wrestling championships] champion was flawless made no mistakes [this doesn’t sound like a word that a native speaker would use in the context, but I can’t put my finger on why] … but on the other hand, so was he. they didn’t make any either!
None of those are funny.
You could rework this one to make a joke that works (though it’s not hilarious or anything, just standard bad dad joke levels)