Mine hit me with the “We’re spending all this money on you now so you can’t grow up and say we didn’t spend money on you when your were a kid.”

  • HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    6 days ago

    Two weeks after I explained to my father why I had an abortion … and he calmly said he understood my reasons … he told me I’d murdered his grandchild.

    He was a real winner, my dad.

    • luminaree@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      6 days ago

      I’m so sorry he responded like that, he’s not the one who would have carried, birthed, and raised that child. I hope you’re doing okay and are at peace with the decision you made.

  • joytoy@feddit.nl
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    6 days ago

    The monster that raised me was a real piece of work.

    Context: she adopted me and 3 others. The other 3 were adopted when she was a single parent.

    • “I didn’t want you. <ex husband> did.”
    • “Stick to your own kind.” (In front of my mixed-ethnicity siblings, when I introduced a girl I was seeing to her)
    • ”Ain’t no son of mine is going to be a <slur>” (all 3 of my siblings had developmental disorders, I only asked to be tested)
    • “I don’t want that <homophobic slur> in my house no more, I don’t want AIDS”
    • “If you really hate me that much go back to your whore mother, she didn’t want you either”
    • ”Nobody wants you, I don’t even want you.” (She used this one a lot)
    • ”Where would you be if I didn’t take you in?” (Also used this one a lot)
    • ”Read. My. Lips.” (I had moderate to severe hearing loss back then, and she refused to learn sign language. She would also get right in my face when she did that)
    • ”You a <homophobic slur> now?” (When I pierced both of my ears)
    • ”If you move out don’t ever come back, don’t call me, don’t talk to me, don’t ask me for diggity shit”

    That last one was fun. I met my partner and snuck out in the middle of the night to fly across the world just to get away from her. She reported me as kidnapped multiple times even after I contacted the detectives AND her to let her know I was only following instructions. Then she denied she ever said that. That was the last time I spoke to her, over a decade ago.

    I’m in therapy twice a week for the past few years, was recently diagnosed with adhd and autism, and non-binary transfem. My partner is Indonesian. She can rot in piss.

  • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    20
    ·
    7 days ago

    A few days ago my mom made a “joke” that clearly having good kids skipped a generation right after commenting about how well behaved my kids were.

    With my own kids now I’ve been realizing how many of the “behaviors” my parents would complain about and expect me to improve upon were just normal kid stuff

  • PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    6 days ago
    • you are pathetic
    • you make me want to vomit
    • you are disgusting
    • you are a disloyal, condescending asshole
    • you are sickening
    • I can’t wait until I no longer have to be around you

    Borderline Personality Disorder is not a ride I ever asked to be on.

  • Xella@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    7 days ago

    My step father told me about the time he told my biological father that he had slept with my mom.

    I was a small child and we were all living in a house together, my mom, biological father and step father(my bio dads bff at the time). Step father took my bio father out and told him what they had done. My bio father was so happy to hear the news he shook my step father’s hand and thanked him profusely. He then proceeded to tell my step father how he wanted to burn the house down with me and my mom in it so this is the best news he could possibly get.

    After my step father told me this story he followed it up with “at that moment I should have known and left your mother” 🫠

  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    edit-2
    6 days ago

    My dad said various things about “dirty Mexicans”, eugenic stuff about black people or people with severe mental handicaps, and always had some offhand extreme solution for non-conformists who rocked the boat.

    He kept it mostly under wraps when I was younger, but as he got older and the Fox News worm ate into his and his social circle’s brains it started leaking out a lot more.

    Being sent off to “military school” was an occasional threat. Like that was going to magically fix things.

  • Grizzlyboy@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    6 days ago

    The money thing is such a fucked up thing to say. “Do you know how much money you cost?!” As if the price of raising children is something a 6 yo is responsible for!

    If I was gay I’d have to be lobotomized, not would or could, I’d have to be… and he’d do it himself. 10 yo and wanted my dad dead.

    And the insane gaslighting! He’d stink of cigarettes, reeeeek! Clearly he’d been smoking, but would deny it with the shittiest lies: person X blew smoke in my face! I walked past someone who smoked!

    Or when I got a bicycle, dad would guilt trip me af for having spent money on it. And whenever I couldn’t cycle, meaning it would take 10 yo me an hour to get there (20ish KM), he’d be fuming and say he’d sell the bike since I’m not using it…

    I’m firmly a believer that having children shouldn’t be allowed for everyone. Some people are terrible and should be sterilized and enslaved. I just don’t know how to implement it, yet!

    • Ledericas@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      6 days ago

      from what the op description is saying, basically the parents think its transactional investment, so they expect to be repaid in full or more in the future. im suspecting they are saying it so they can ask for free money down the line to pay thier own mismanaged finances, or they will ask op to “retire” them by living with OP rent free.

  • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    7 days ago

    Reading this makes me realize how many people had really fucked up childhoods. I feel sorry for all of you, don’t give up hope for humanity, and choose (if you can) how to live your own life. There are better people out there.

  • HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    edit-2
    5 days ago

    My grandparents came to the US from Germany. Upon hearing my dad say black people that don’t like trumps (1.0) America should go back to Africa, i reminded him that most of them are way more American than we are. I could hear his brain break through the phone

  • FRYD@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    7 days ago

    I was eating dinner with my dad a year ago when he told me about how he believes jews secretly run the world and that there’s something fishy about the Rothschilds. I burst out laughing thinking my dad had suddenly developed a very modern online sense of humor, but unfortunately no.

    I’ve never known my dad to be antisemitic, and he even explained that regular jews are a different group from the ones in control.

    I straight up told him it’s ridiculous and that he needs to get off the internet, but he never agreed with me. I still don’t know how to handle the situation really.

    Oh and my mom went borderline sovereign citizen a few years ago, but I don’t remember what insane thing she said first.

    • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      edit-2
      7 days ago

      I straight up told him it’s ridiculous and that he needs to get off the internet…

      Which is especially crazy when I imagine I’m not the only one who was constantly told my personally developed views were influenced purely from “listening to all those liberals on the internet.”

      Confirmation bias is a helluva drug, pops. :(

      • FRYD@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        6 days ago

        What’s wild is that my dad is a democrat, “union man”, who is himself otherwise liberal. He agrees that there’s a class war, but that the rich are organized specifically by a few secret unimaginably rich jewish families for unclear purposes.

        • SL3wvmnas@discuss.tchncs.de
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          3 days ago

          Well like all lunatic right wing theories this has a kernel of truth. He just needs to strike Jewish, and the purpose is even more money.

          From personal experience the "you’re overthinking it, its just class warfare nothing else and that is bad enough " was to me the more effective way of pulling well meaning generally liberal/left leaning people back from the edge of the lunatic to fascism pipeline. I once made the mistake of doing “yes and (the Jesuits and the Medici)” in an ill advised attempt at humor. That person is not in my life anymore. It was far too comfortable being a hateful lunatic around me.

    • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      7 days ago

      He’s so close… He’s even distinguishing that the problem is social class, just not taking the racism part out of it. There might actually be hope in his case.

      • Makhno@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        7 days ago

        He’s even distinguishing that the problem is social class, just not taking the racism part out of it.

        Seeing the world turn a blind eye to Gaza confirms that powerful zionists have at least partial control over the western narrative.

        • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          edit-2
          6 days ago

          “Powerful” being the operative term. It’s a reason to hate the rich, not to hate the Jews.

  • ZeroOne@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    6 days ago

    Let me add to that, this is something my own mother said while being of sound mind:

    • parents should have the right to kill their children if they become unruly (She said it twice)
  • BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    edit-2
    6 days ago

    I had a fight with my sister and I threw away a box of brownies in anger, and my parents told me they should have just gone ahead with the abortion instead of backing down from it because my grandfather wouldn’t allow it, I don’t know if I hate my parents or my grandfather more.

  • IndieGoblin@lemmy.4d2.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    5 days ago

    Yeah my dad has said so many things that have left me stunned. I have had to explain tax brackets to this man so many fucking times. He keeps thinking if he goes up a bracket the overall tax % will increase and therefore he will actually have less money.

  • SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    121
    ·
    8 days ago

    My da told me “God does not forgive people who curse his name.”

    I asked “But God forgives people who sexually abuse kids?”

    “If they ask for forgiveness, yes.”

    wHy DoNt YoU aTtEnD cHuRcH aNyMoRe??? lmao shut up.

    • CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.cafe
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      38
      ·
      8 days ago

      LOL, that’s not even scripturally correct. He doesn’t know his own faith! 😂 This is common, and really sad when you think about it, because their faith is their “single most important thing” in life & they’re so damn ignorant of it. Like…it’s one book. Read it, if you are so inclined?

      There is only one sin earmarked as the eternal sin, the unforgivable sin. Explicitly described in Matthew 12:30–32, alluded to in other relevant passages. “Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit”. Even blasphemy against the Son of Man (Jesus) will be forgiven…but never the Holy Spirit. Because it’s simply too big of a contradiction or discrepancy in how the Christian faith operates & how one is saved. You have the “power of the Holy Spirit” working through you, working with Christ & God the Father on your behalf. Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is largely interpreted as to deny that very power, the power that saves.

      It is akin to needing hydration, but refusing to drink large amounts of any kind of liquid ever. Or needing an electrical charge to run a device, but never making a connection to transfer the power, you’re going to somehow “will” or speak the power into your phone. Well. That’s simply not how it works, and you’ll never have power.

      I only explain to provide clarity of the Christian faith to others, I do not profess the faith present day, it has taken 25 years of my life. Others are welcome to comment, of course, but I’m not here to argue endlessly over “how many angels can dance on the point of a very fine needle”. As they say, and have done before, and has since morphed more colloquially into “on the head of a pin”. 😉

      • starlinguk@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        7 days ago

        Also: taking the Lord’s name in vain is doing something bad and saying you did it for religious reasons.

      • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        6 days ago

        Is that denominationally specific? I’ve never heard of it.

        Knowing the actual theology is so rare in Christianity (or any religion) it’s basically not an important part. Which explains history.

      • piranhaconda@mander.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        17
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        8 days ago

        Damn, I’ve never blasphemed that one. I may die and end up in heaven due to my religious upbringing. Can’t have that…

        FUCK THE HOLY SPIRIT

        • bizarroland@fedia.io
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          12
          ·
          8 days ago

          Cursing the holy spirit is not blaspheming the holy spirit.

          The only way to blaspheme the Holy Spirit is to have the Holy Spirit move through you, where you know beyond any shadow of any doubt that the essence of God itself is working in your actions, to be purified and elevated above mankind, and then to claim that this purification, elevation, and miracle comes from the devil and not from God.

          It is very difficult to do this, and even then, Jesus himself said you would be in danger of Hellfire, not guaranteed to go to Hell forever.

      • steeznson@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        8 days ago

        I believe the “angels on the head of a pin” were Victorian scholars parodying the medieval debates they were studying at the time. It’s somewhat unfair because the mediaval scholars are much more sophisticated than that but the parody has endured.

      • SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        8 days ago

        Welcome to “I interpret scripture as whatever benefits me” or whatnot.

        He’s actually a spiritual leader in our community. It all sucks. Lol

    • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      8 days ago

      They’re not on the same plane as everyone else. Fantasy delusion to the detriment of the living.