A friend tried to get me into Amway. I heckled him and refused.
He asked me again and I was more serious this time. I said no, and threatened if he asked me ever again it was the last he’d speak to me.
He asked again. I said “remember how I said we wouldn’t be friends if you kept proselytizing that shit to me?”, to which he replied, “yeah, but lemme sketch this out to you because it’s awesome.” Like, he wasn’t sorry and he still tried to bring me onboard.
I left. Didn’t speak to him for 31 years. He died in COVID.
My dad has a friend try to talk him into amway sometime in the late 80s/early 90s. He had painted a pyramid shape onto cinder blocks in his basement to explain the revenue stream and everything.
He said no, but that friend ended up high enough in a payment chain that he’s still rich as sin, and my dad got to be one of the scant few that turned down what would’ve actually been a lucrative business venture in a pyramid scheme.
On fools day he posted a picture of himself and a baby in Facebook with the tag “presenting my baby to everyone” I commented that congratulations for losing his virginity, that it took a while but it’s look like it was worth it. He blocked me and never spoke to me again. I tried to contact him a couple of times, we were best friends on primary school and keep in touch even after graduation high school, but we never talked again after that. I can’t even count the amount of times I talked about that with my therapist, until I just moved on. Hope he have a happy life.
tangential but, when i was teenage-ish i had a friend of a friend that was always kind of standoffish with me. i’m a people pleaser so i was always looking for some way to connect with this guy, but i reckon that was coming across in a weird/bad way.
anyway at one point i found out we had the same birthday, year and everything! i thought it was pretty neat, but he thought i was lying. i got really insistent because from my perspective i had no reason to lie about something so mundane, and ig that rubbed him the wrong way because iirc he never spoke to me again.
I just stopped talking to them or responding well to their efforts. It’s a trend. I really couldn’t even tell you why with any absolute certainty, aside from the following thought that’s come up when trying to figure it out.
If you grow up in a situation where your parents move every couple of years for work, IMO you’re going to develop in one of two ways:
-you’re going to get really good at making new friends, real fast, and keeping in touch with people over time
-you’ll reach a point where you stop putting any effort into connecting with new people or keeping in touch with old friends, because what’s the point? You’ll be gone soon anyway.And if you’re in the latter camp, unless you put real effort into fixing it, that shit can stick with you long after the situation creating that condition is over.
I’ve made some progress, I suppose, in trying to at least be a friendly guy on the street open to chance encounters that theoretically could turn into a more robust friendship, but I’ve got a ways to go to get where I’d like to be re: that.
We started a business together and after landing our first client together (not one we brought in as a pre existing relationship) we went out drinking to celebrate. We both drank the same stuff, same amounts (and I’ve had far more before), yet I was more fucked than ever, to the point I’m convinced the dude drugged me. I have 0 memory of leaving the bar, going 5 blocks away after calling our ride, gashing my head open (twice), or how I was “so limp I could barely stand let alone walk” none of which sounds like me when I’m drunk at ALL
He also spent that whole time shit talking me to my wife, something he’s previously done to other “friends” he felt were leaving him for significant others
He died of a heroin overdose.
Started a friendship with a classmate, he was bit of a know-it-all, we were discussing some esoteric stuff and he laid out his theory I said “ah that’s BS”, and gave my reasons. Then he got very uptight and ended our friendship there and then, and escorted me out of his apartment.
Very strange experience.
Edit: It’s one of those cases you recall and think “Was it me that were the stupid one there?”
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Friends; plural. I quit drinking.
Sounds like a smart way.
A drinking buddy of mine quit. I got good at making mocktails. Bonus now when I want a cocktail but not booze I can have a nice drink.
Eastern countries don’t build all their communal events around booze but instead food. One of the many reasons I have no interest in moving back to the West.
Cocaine laced with fentanyl. OD’d in the bathtub. Wasn’t even (remotely) a regular user; just having a little extra fun on New Years. Was about to finalize the adoption of his and his wife’s baby girl too
Another one from alcohol, fell asleep in the bath
Another one from an undiagnosed heart condition
Another from a peritoneal infection from peritoneal dialysis (they had sickle cell)
My sister from benzos and falling asleep in the bath
All of them in their 30’s. Been a difficult few years of losing friends/family for me, ngl
Good lord what a hand you’ve been dealt. My sympathies.
I really appreciate it. All will always be well, in the end. It just can get rough sometimes, but storms pass one way or another. Thank you though
That’s really rough. I hope you are doing OK and taking care of yourself.
I am doing ok, and thank you. I try my best to take care of myself and have gotten much better at identifying/modifying maladaptive coping methods. It’s always a work in progress lol
I’ve worked around a lot of death as an ICU nurse, which I think has helped me with a little insight into “how to process”. You’re never ready when it’s someone you love and especially when it’s sudden, but seeing other people go through it regularly can give you a different view sometimes, I believe. But thank you again friend
All living in the same locality ?
No, everyone was pretty much spread out across three different US states. Just unfortunate happenstance (and timing, really)
This is ages ago, invited me to an MLM event without telling me it’s MLM. I’ve experienced cult that night.
This hits close to home…
I had someone do that with me too, but in their defense, I know they never had the brains to tell that was a cult. Fortunately they didn’t get trapped either, but they did waste a bit of money in it for a short while.
He became a Qanon ass licking dumbfuck and a pro Trump cum sandwich.
Also, we are French so his savior isn’t able to place us on a map.
Had a pretty much identical experience with a longtime best friend.
Within reason ofc but I think it’s a valuable thing to have friends with different viewpoints
It is, but not when they try to “educate” everyone around them at every breath they take, every text message and every conversation.
It ended up with everyone saying “dude stop, we don’t care at all” and him apologizing then saying “ok sorry, my mistake, I explained it wrong that’s why you didn’t understand”.
Again and again and again. It is a disease that needs medical treatment (psychiatric, the same as people leaving cults) and the way he described it fits the description. He said that he “fell in it” (tomber dedans in French, as in falling in a pit) by being bored at work and watching too many YouTube videos to pass time.
We tried to help, but after 2 years we were exhausted. Dude doesn’t want to be helped and we are not medical professionals.
Last news was that he now hangs with another former friend from school that also refused to change and get help, the only cocaine addict of our small town. To the village they are known as the crazy guys sitting on a park bench all day and feeding each other craziness. To them they are probably the only two enlightened dudes and everybody else is too dumb and needs to be awoken.
Imo that has nothing to do with their views though
I don’t tend to like people who haven’t thought their opinions through but stand by them anyway, the people in my life with these different viewpoints can intelligently and civilly justify them rather than just spouting nonsense
If nothing else, then to have a reference to whom else not to befriend, and to have a known source for all the hottest new nonsense.
Kinda like Urban Dictionary. Lots of degenaratory stuff on there, but at least i got somewhat reliable definitions for all the weird stuff people call me and/or each other.
That’s pretty much what I mean, have friends with different views so you can get a good gauge for what’s going on in the world
Obviously not the people who haven’t really thought their opinions through but I know a number of people who make good thought out arguments for what they believe in that still conflict with my own
My best friend and I suggested online that maybe this friend of ours stop using “gay” as an insult (this was around 2009 or so) and he and his girlfriend became adamantly defensive and mean. When they implied that my best friend was molesting his beloved dog just to be assholes, I just cut the cord and walked away. They were idiots anyway.
Fun fact: the girlfriend was, and is, a huge “do good” volunteer advocacy leader. So, you know, help each other out, but don’t get in the way of my homophobic slurs.
Some people respond poorly to criticism, especially when they don’t have the brain to identify they do something wrong.
So, so many people refuse to believe they’re even capable of being wrong.
You’ve just described a good chunk of my family.
And half the country. 😩
Lost (sent away) two who tried to ‘date’ my husband.
I bought tickets for a concert for us both provided she drive. She never showed up and didn’t answer her phone or anything but was somehow mad at me a few days later.
